


apple juice

by missjj23



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2019-08-20 20:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjj23/pseuds/missjj23
Summary: 'broken home baby, i could never blame you.'Tobin wants her, more than anything. But sometimes life just gets messy.





	1. I.

 

“We’re back, baby!”

Kelley shrieks as she barges through the front door of the house she and 70% of her teammates will call home for the next year. Tobin rolls her eyes as she follows her best friend through the door. She was excited about the upcoming school year, just not that excited. However, it was a known fact that no one can reach the same level of excitement as Kelley O’Hara. The house was buzzing; boxes and duffels were stacked and thrown around the entire first floor in a blissful, chaotic mess. The frenzy was something that Tobin took comfort in, having found the beauty in disorder a long time ago. The house, which was fondly nicknamed The Plex, was kind of like home for the entire women’s soccer team, even though the official residents of the house were the juniors and seniors on the team. Although it was technically considered off campus housing, the plex was such a convenient place to live. The place was a five minute walk from the the library and the quad, and a seven minute walk to the practice field. It was the perfect little rest stop for the girls when they had breaks in between practices or classes. Living at this house was a right of passage, and Tobin was glad that her and Kelley were finally able to officially call the plex home.

Tobin readjusted the bag on her shoulder, there were six rooms in the house and she began to wonder which room would she be calling home for the next year. Kelley had represented them in the selection process last spring, so she was a little nervous about which room they ended up with.

“So, uh, Kell?” Tobin looked towards her friend who seemed just as comfortable in the chaos they were standing in. “Which room is ours?”

Kelley’s eyes lit up in the way that either meant they were about to get into some trouble, or that she had really good news. She was hoping it was the latter, because last time she saw that look in her best friend’s eyes, she ended up competing in a drinking competition against two linebackers. Sure, they won, but now even the smell of cinnamon whiskey makes her gag. She can’t even fully enjoy her Mom’s snickerdoodles anymore. Before Tobin could relive the haunting memory of downing five shots in a little under a minute, Kelley grabbed her hand and led her to their room. It was upstairs, not the biggest room in the house, but certainly not the smallest. It was right across the hall from a bathroom and had a pretty view of the backyard. It was way more than Tobin expected, especially since it was their first year living in the house.

“Wow, Kell. This is awesome.”

She studied the room a little more. They had the smallest balcony outside of their window. You really couldn’t fit any furniture out there, but the two of them could enjoy the space comfortably. Tobin was estatic unitl she noticed the huge walk in closet, and decided that this was too good to be true. There was no way one of the seniors would have let this room slip through their fingertips.

“Kell,” she began tentatively, “who’d you scam in order for us to be living in this room?”

Kelley placed her hand over her heart in mock offense, but Tobin knew she was right. There was always a catch.

“Me? A scammer? I would never.” Kelley drawled, trying her best to sell her innocent southern belle act. “But, I will admit to convincing Krieger that the room downstairs next to the laundry room would totally suit her better.” Kelly sing-songed as she made her way towards the balcony.

“How on Earth did you get her to give up this walk in closet?” Tobin asked undoubtedly curious, as she followed her friend out the window, “because that girl has like a shit ton of clothes.”

Kelley gripped the railing of the small balcony lightly, the smallest smiles adorning her face as she chuckled softly.

“Oh, Toby, sweetheart.” she practically purred, “I used the one thing that little Kriegy loves more than her fashion collection against her.” Tobin raised an eyebrow waiting for the explanation. There were not many things in this world that Ali Krieger valued more than her clothes, and everyone knew that.

“I told her that the room downstairs next to the laundry room would be a better fit.” Kelley says as she looked out over the backyard. She turned to Tobin, with that signature O’Hara evil genius look in her eye, “Because the dryer would drown out the sound of her and Ash’s crazy romps in the sack.” Kelley tried to keep a straight face which broke in a matter of seconds. Tobin laughed at her best friends antics, although Kelley’s plans tended to land on the outlandish side, she actually agreed with her this time. Ash and Ali were notorious for their escapades, and it’s probably going to be even worse now that they were sharing a room. “And honestly, I think the whole house will thank me.”

Tobin nodded in agreement. She remembered the time the team went to Big Bear for a three day weekend to do a little snowboarding and team bonding. But unfortunately for them, after the first day on the slopes, a massive snowstorm hit and forced them to stay cooped up in their AirBnB for the remainder of the weekend. They tried to make the most of it, played some board games and watched movies, until Ali and Ash grew tired of Monopoly and decided to have their own fun. Tobin could not look her teammates in the eyes for weeks after. Even though she applauded them for their stamina, the sounds she heard coming from their room have scarred her for life.

Kelley stretched as she took one more look over the balcony and sighed in contentment.

“This is gonna be a good year, Tobs.” She said in one of the most genuine tones one will ever hear from an O’Hara. “I can feel it in my bones.”

Tobin smiled at her best friend, she hoped that she was right. She needed a good year. They both did. Last year had felt like a rollercoaster, the highs were exhilarating and the lows sometimes made her question why she even chose to get on the ride at all. Looking back on it, she can honestly say that last year was one of the hardest years of her life. Where freshman year was all wide eyes and new opportunities, sophomore year was just a huge blow to her mental state. She had come into the year expecting to be an impact player, to have the opportunity to build on the work she put in the previous year. She wanted her sophomore year to be her break out year. But instead, she broke her foot. Even though it ended in disaster, the year wasn’t all bad. Initially, everything was going according to plan. Her confidence was growing, she was doing well in her classes and branching out and making new friends.

Three weeks before playoffs, everything went to hell.

They were playing the worst team in the conference, an easy win by all means. The scoreboard showed how lopsided the talent was with the home team leading 7-0, Tobin having two of those goals herself. There were about fifteen minutes left in the game, and Tobin knew that her day was coming to an end. She could spot her sub by the fourth official, all she had to do was send the ball out of bounds. It all seemed simple enough, until it wasn’t. Tobin had the ball at her feet, milliseconds from sending it out of bounds when she felt a force just knock into her. Apparently, the other team’s centerback’s frustration had reached its boiling point because she slid with this rage-filled reckless abandon, into Tobin’s foot.

The pain was instant, her entire left leg feeling as if it were being stabbed by a hundred knives that had been held over a fire. It was the worst pain that she had ever experienced, but all she could think about was the playoffs, and how she hoped to God that she wouldn’t have to miss them. She heard whistles blowing, her teammates and coaches yelling, but all she could do is put her hands over her face and cry. She cried because her foot hurt like hell, but she also cried for the team, for the fact that her season was over, and for what could have been.

The official diagnosis was a fractured ankle with the ligaments in the ankle also being torn. She needed surgery and she would be out for almost 12 weeks. Her season was done, and that fact alone was devastating. Tobin felt a little hopeless after she was injured. Soccer was taken from her, and she was only at school because of soccer. Her parents were arguing about her injury, and life just didn’t make sense anymore. The last three weeks of the season were hell for her, she tried to be there for her teammates and support them as best as she could but her heart was just so heavy.

It was so heavy, that she tried to find a way to get her mind off of the heaviness. She craved anything and everything that would help ease the heaviness that had seemed to take up a permanent residence in her heart. And she found temporary relief, in the bottom of a bottle and in the arms of different girls. To say Tobin spiraled, would be an understatement. The weeks after her injury caused her to lose herself in a way that she had never been lost before. She stopped going to class, skipped out on her rehab appointments and started to isolate herself from her friends and her teammates. Most of her days ended with Kelley picking her up off of the bathroom floor. It was horrible, and by Thanksgiving Tobin had no idea if she was even going to return to school for the next semester.

But right before she left for the break, Kelley cornered her and sat her down for a one woman intervention. She reminded her of the good things that she still had in her life, and how she still had two years of eligibility left. And how much it was hurting her to see Tobin become a shell of who she once was. The reality was a hard pill to swallow, the shame and guilt of dragging Kelley through this mess made her want to go run and bury her head in the sand. It was the most called for intervention in the history of interventions. It was exactly what Tobin had needed to get her head right, and stop living in her state of perpetual sorrow.

Tobin really believed that going home for Thanksgiving would be the first step in getting her head back on straight. She would be able to spend some time with her family, recharge her batteries and get back to school in time to hopefully ace her finals and save her plummeting GPA. The first few days of break were exactly what she needed, she went shopping with her sisters, played video games with her brother and baked cookies with her mother. She even had a moderately strained conversation with her Dad over the phone. It was good, it was nice, and it was exactly what she needed.

Thanksgiving started off as normal as one can expect; her mother was rushing around the kitchen putting her finishing touches on the food. Her sisters were doing what they could to help their mom, while Tobin chose to go join her brother in the living room to watch some football. Holidays had always been a little weird ever since her parent’s divorce a few years back, but Tobin couldn’t help but feel at peace with her family’s new normal. When the food was done, they all sat at the table and went around saying what they were thankful for the most. They ate, they talked, they laughed. Everything was normal, and everything was perfect. Tobin left her mom’s house finally feeling like herself, ready to take on the world again.

Kelley had met her back on campus relieved to see Tobin look like herself again. Tobin had never been more thankful for Kelley’s friendship, she had helped her through the darkest time of her career and for that she would always be grateful. They may have been yin and yang, but they balanced each other out, using their differences to bring out the best of each other. And through all of their small fights and disagreements, they were there for each other. It had been the foundation of their friendship, the specifics of a situation didn’t matter, they would always take each other’s side. Right or wrong, they would have each other’s back, unequivocally and whole heartedly.

“I hope so, Kell.” She answered warmly, “I really do.”

Kelley opened her arms wide for a hug, which Tobin stepped into without any hesitation. They weren’t always super affectionate with each other, but Kelley O’Hara was one of Tobin’s top five favorite people to hug. Kelley gave her a one last long squeeze before she let her go.

“I have to go help those losers make dinner,” Kelley said as she stepped through the window back into the room. “Honestly, I have no idea how they functioned before I moved in.” She said dramatically as she made her way out of the room. “Everyone should be here around five-thirty.”

Tobin didn’t even get a chance to respond, as her roommate had already shut the door behind her. Kelley was actually a pretty decent cook, and she was almost certain she’d come up with something good for their first team dinner. Although almost all of her meals could be categorized as “team dinners” since she spent the majority of her time almost exclusively with her teammates, the team had official dinner parties that marked special occasions throughout the year. Tonight would be the dinner to celebrate the start of summer workouts. They’ll have another that marks the first day of school, midterms, and almost every other little milestone one could think of. Tobin didn’t mind. She loved her teammates and she loved not having to make her own food even more. It was a win/win situation. She was actually really excited about tonight’s dinner, because it would be the first time they would all be together since the end of last semester. She would get to meet the new freshman and catch up with the other girls that didn’t live in the house. Tobin checked her watch, she had a few hours before everyone was supposed to show up, so she might as well be somewhat productive.

With their place in the house officially secured, Tobin decided that it was safe enough to start to unpack. It would be a relatively easy task, considering that more than half of her wardrobe was made up of athletic wear. She liked to start the season off with her room as neat as possible, because by the time summer workouts ended it will be a total mess. Tobin felt as if her messiness was just a reminder to how blissfully busy her life was. After workouts, she would have just enough energy to strip and rinse off in the shower before she would pass out in her bed. Every other Sunday she would try and do laundry, but it was a miracle if she ever got around to putting it away.

Tobin got around to finally putting her personal touch on the room. Her space was a living embodiment of herself, the decor almost seamlessly matching her personality. A few pictures of her family were taped to her mirror, the sombrero she got on her birthday last year was hanging proudly on the wall, along with a calendar marked up with all the training sessions and workouts that were scheduled this month. Tobin picked up one of the few freehand paintings she had worked on this summer, and decided to hang it over her bed. Painting had been a hobby that she never expected to fall in love with. Her sister had suggested it as a way to ease her restlessness on a particular rainy day in Jersey, and it kind of just stuck. Once she had the painting where she wanted it, she arranged a few of her favorite players’ framed jerseys in a way that didn’t make the wall look tacky. Her Mom had given her the idea of hanging her favorite snaps from her first two years of college on a clothesline under the twinkling string of Christmas lights that she bought. When her room finally was unpacked, Tobin looked around and made a few small changes before she was satisfied. She checked her phone, realizing she had at least two hours before anyone would be up here to bother her. So she did as any other student athlete would do when presented with free time: she took a nap.

* * *

 

“Hey, sleepy head.”

Tobin’s eyes opened slowly, and then shut again. She must still be asleep, because that was her voice. The only time her voice sounds this clear is in her dreams. So, she had to be sleeping.

“Tobin.” It was her voice again, this time accompanied by a small giggle. “Wake up.”

She felt a warm hand gently shake her shoulder, and then make its way up to her face. She felt her long fingers gently remove a few pieces of hair out of her face, before coming to a rest on her cheek. Tobin’s skin reacted to her touch almost instantly, her cheeks began to burn while chills sent tingles down her spine. Oh, yeah. She was definitely awake. Tobin’s response to her touch was not anything new. She had discovered this intense rush of something during the last few weeks of spring season last semester. It was like her touch caused all of her senses to go into overdrive. Her body began to react to her presence; simple high fives caused her palms to sweat, an arm slung over her shoulders during a team huddle caused her heart rate to spike, and a simple compliment could turn her into a stuttering mess. Tobin thought a summer apart would have subdued the electricity between them, but if anything, the time apart had just made the pull stronger.

Tobin finally opened her eyes, her brown orbs greedily seeking out the face of the girl that she could not seem to get out of her head. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and clumsily reached for her glasses on her bedside table. Once she slipped them on, she was met with her absolute favorite face. Christen Press was staring down at her, a hand still resting on her cheek with the softest smile playing on her lips.

“Hey sleepy head,” she repeated softly.

Tobin sat up and immediately wrapped her up in a hug. It had been weeks since the last time they did this, and honestly, she was going through a little bit of a withdraw. Tobin sighed contentedly, she had missed this. She had missed her.

“I missed you, Chris.” Tobin voiced her previous thought quietly, arms squeezing just a little bit tighter to emphasize her point.

Christen pulled back slightly, a sparkle of amusement taking residence in her eyes. “Tobin, we have talked every day this summer. I was literally texting you this morning.” She ended with a laugh.

Christen was right. Ever since they had been released from school, the two had been in constant communication with one another. Whether it be text, facetime calls, snapchat, or any other form of communication they were always talking. And yeah, those long calls and steady stream of texts had kept Tobin sane during the long summer, but they don’t compare to seeing Christen in the flesh. To be able to hug her, and see her face unpixelated and unfiltered. It didn’t compare.

“Yeah, but it’s been a while since I’ve actually seen you, ya know?” Tobin mumbled out a little embarrassed.

Christen looked at her and the sparkle in her eyes returned, but it was a different kind of sparkle. Even though the room was dark, Tobin could see the little glimmer in her eyes so clearly. Her lips pulled into a soft smile, and she placed her head back on Tobin’s shoulder.

“I missed you too, Tobs.” Christen assured as she rubbed her hands soothingly across Tobin’s back. “I really did.”

Tobin found comfort in Christen’s words, a small confirmation that whatever this is isn’t completely one-sided. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly how Christen became her favorite person, but she was glad all the same. She remembers meeting Christen, it was about this time last year at the young forward’s first team dinner. She had walked in, flanked by two other freshman as they experienced the plex for the first time. The little a “pack” that had entered the house together that night had remained close throughout the remainder of their freshman year until now. Christen, along with Alex Morgan and Julie Johnston were the definition of a package deal. They were all extremely different in their own ways, but their differences seemed to balance each other out and solidify their friendship. There was Julie, who was kind and extremely sweet and a little bit of a ditz. Her soccer IQ was off the charts but off of the field, she was the subject of an endless number of blonde jokes. Alex Morgan was the most explosive out of her two companions. She had an edge to her, a spiciness, that helped her become a fearless competitor on the field. Unsurprisingly enough, her on field persona was not far off from her real life personality. Alex was crass, outspoken and sometimes a little rude, but once you were able to make her care about you she turned into the softest little jelly bean. She cherished the people who were close to her, and protected them at all costs. Christen was the most pensive out of the three of them, and sometimes it was her own mind that became her worst enemy.

There were days where she became super critical of herself, and would become trapped in her mind for hours on end. About halfway through their spring workouts, Tobin started to notice the difference between a carefree Christen Press, and one that was waging a war upon herself inside of her head. She could not believe that she didn’t notice it sooner, now realizing how one track minded her pre-injury brain was. But now, Tobin could spot the signs from a mile away. Christen’s eyes would become dark with focus, and her brow would be fixed in a permanent concentrated scowl, while her tongue would find itself wedged tightly between her teeth. Every shot on goal would have her full force behind it, and she would resort to communicating with nods and short grunts. Never words. It was interesting to Tobin, to study her, and try to figure out what was going on in that head of hers. When she would start to notice the tell-tale signs of Christen shutting down she would do everything she could to try and make her smile. She would tell her a stupid dad joke, or nutmeg an unsuspecting Kelley or Alex. It didn’t matter how dumb she looked, it was all worth it in order to bring Christen out of her head. To see her smile again.

Their on field interactions led them to spending time together outside of soccer. It started with group lunches with them, Kelley and the other two members of the pack. Into coffee runs, and movie dates, and little adventures shared between just the two of them. Which evolved into this limbo they were currently in. They had become indispensable to one another, but they were both waiting for the other to take the next step forward. They were stuck. Tobin was in no rush to leave the little bubble they had created. She knew that she wanted more from whatever this was, but she was also terrified of the risk. She had witnessed the demise of a relationship that she had thought was true love. Tobin had watched her parents go from a fairytale to nightmare within the span of a couple of years. The split had left her mother broken and her relationship with her father so strained, it almost felt like a business partnership. Her parents did not speak at all anymore. Love was a risk, and she didn’t have it in her to risk Christen. Not yet. Tobin’s thoughts were interrupted as Christen broke away from their embrace once again.

“Let’s go downstairs,” she suggests as she rises from the bed. “dinner should be ready by now.”

Tobin agreed instantly, considering her state of constant hunger. She hopped out of bed and slung her arm over the slightly taller girl’s shoulders, not wanting to relinquish all physical contact just yet. The first floor was alive with the energy of the full team being together for the first time. There were girls lounging around the living room area; talking, laughing, and getting reacquainted with each other after a long couple of months. There was a heated game of Uno taking place at the dining room table, which was actually just two picnic tables pushed together. Alex was in the middle of the chaos, defending her right to drop a draw four on top of someone else’s draw two. She could hear Lindsey’s protests about how illegal this move was, but even she knew deep down that Alex was going to win this argument. She always did. Kelley’s voice rang out from the kitchen, orders being spewed out about how to execute the finishing touches on culinary masterpieces.

Tobin and Christen make their way over to the couch where they slid down next to Julie. She is in the middle of a long anecdote about something that happened when Christen and Alex came to visit her in Arizona over the break.

“So we pull up to this bar, from the looks of it and the reviews on yelp, it had to be the skeeviest one in Phoenix,” Julie begins, hands waving, matching the animation in her voice. “We get through the door easily enough with the outfits that Al had picked out for us.” She raises a brow at Christen, who laughs, remembering how ridiculous she thought they looked when they left Julie’s house that night. And how surprised she was that Alex’s plan had actually worked.

“It was a little different at the bar, though.” Julie voiced, her tone a little ominous. “The bartender was so not buying that we were 21, and was insisting that we show him our ID’s.” Tobin sits up a little straighter, genuinely curious about the outcome of this story. She knew that Chris had went to go visit Julie this summer, but she couldn’t quite recall this story.

“So, Al came up with a plan. Like she always does.” Christen piped up from her seat beside Tobin.

“Alex goaded the bartender into a game of truth or dare,” Julie continued. “We would complete any dare he wanted, in return for free drinks for the rest of the night.”

“What was the dare?” Incoming freshman, Mallory Pugh, piped up from her spot on the floor. Julie had gained quite an audience, the Uno game seemed to have ended and a number of the players had made their way into the living room.

“He wanted two of us to make out,” Julie says, half the room erupts in giggles, the other collectively gasps.

“What a perv,” Tobin muttered, arms crossing over her chest.

“Well, did you do it?” Mal asked with a little too much enthusiasm behind her question.

“No, way.” Ashlyn chimed in who had an amused Ali Krieger curled into her side. “Julie, you starting dating Zach like three seconds after you walked on campus. There’s no way--”.

Ashlyn’s eyes widen as she comes to the realization of what actually happened. And then she, along with everyone else who had caught on, erupted with laughter. The gears in Tobin’s head had slowly started to turn, and eventually she catches up with everyone else. She turned to face Christen, who’s cheeks had turned a dark shade of red and was trying her best to sink into the couch.

“What are we all excited about?” Alex Morgan, the Queen of perfect timing, says cheekily as she makes her way into the room.

“Oh, nothing” Ashlyn drawls as she pretends to pick at her nails. “Just about the time that you made out with Press!”

The whole room erupts in another fit of giggles while Alex slides onto the couch in between Christen and Julie. Alex shrugs as she throws an arm over Christen’s shoulders.

“It was a win for me,” she admits flippantly. “Press is hot, and we got free drinks.”

“Yeah, we know Morgan. You’ll exchange spit with anything that has a pulse.” Lindsey snickers from the lazy boy across the room. “We just thought that Press had standards.”

Although the embarrassment was still evident on her face, Christen was not going to just sit there and let the team slander her friend. Sure, Al had some promiscuous tendencies. But didn’t they all?

“I do have standards,” Christen says, as she blatantly looks Alex up and down. “Like, Al said, there were no losers that night.”

This comment puts a smug smile on Alex’s face, and earns her groans from the rest of the team. Alex tightens her grip around Christen’s shoulders and plants a loud smacking kiss on her cheek.

“That’s my girl,” Alex praises as Tobin looks at the girl of her affections in this new light. She was trying to sort out what she was feeling about this new information. She didn’t really feel jealous or insecure, but she was even more fascinated by the being that is Christen Press. She would never think that Christen would have ever gone along with a dare like that, but she did. There is still so much that she doesn’t know about her, and it’s exciting to think that she has the opportunity to discover first hand who this girl really is. That thought alone puts a smile on her face knowing that one day, she might be able to say that she knows this enigma inside and out.

Before the group could ask the trio any more questions about that rowdy night in Arizona, Kelley’s voice break’s through from the kitchen.

“DIIIINNNER!”

This call gets everyone’s attention, and they start to make their way to the dining room almost immediately. Julie and Alex follow the team while Christen noticeably hangs back. She reaches for Tobin’s hand before she gets too far, a silent plea to stay behind. Tobin turns around, eyebrows asking the question for her.

“What’s up?” She asks eventually, as Christen looks a little fidgety. She’s nervous about something.

“I just wanted to tell you that I was never trying to hide my kiss with Al,” she starts, words coming out quickly and hands moving in all different directions. “I mean, you know we’re practically like sisters. I wanted to make sure you knew that.” Christen’s words started coming out a little faster, ramble now in full effect.

“I mean, Julie and Al, they’re important to me. We’re like a little tribe within a tribe. And like, Lindsey kinda made a dig at her, you know? Like, yeah Alex hooks up with a lot of people. Like a lot. But whoever ends up locking her down will be so lucky. And you’ve become one of my favorite people, like ever, and I just needed you to know that I don’t just make out with random girls. That was just like a special occasion, that I don’t plan on it happening again anytime soon.” Christen ends her speil abruptly, eyes shyly looking up at Tobin, waiting for her reaction.

"Really?” Tobin says, with a mischievous grin on her face. “You wouldn’t consider making out with any girls at a bar in the near future?”

“Tobin,” Christen groaned, “I’m serious. I need you to know that.”

Tobin sobers quickly, and really takes the time to process her words. It was just another little assurance from Christen that she didn’t even know she needed. If anything, it made it more apparent than ever that this thing they have between them is real. It’s real and it’s growing. Fast. Tobin leans in and slightly up to drop a kiss on Christen’s cheek. It’s the first time she’s ever put her lips on the other girl, but it’s her way of saying everything Christen needed to hear without having to actually say it. Christen’s cheeks turn a dark shade of auburn, as if Tobin’s touch casted some sort of spell on her. Tobin closes the distance and wraps her up in her arms. They sway together gently; its soft, its comforting, and its the only thing besides soccer that makes complete sense in Tobin’s world.

“I know, Chris.” she whispers, as they continue to rock slowly. They stay connected for a few moments longer, before Tobin’s stomach interrupts them. Both girls let out a soft laugh before following the rest of their team into the dining room area. When they finally make their into the room, they are surprised to see that everyone is waiting for them.

“Finally,” Kelley says with a slight hint of annoyance in her voice. “If we would have waited any longer the food would have been ruined.”

“We didn’t ask you to wait, Kell.” Tobin replied as she takes the seat next to her roommate. Christen had naturally slid into the space between Alex and Julie, a little embarrassed that everyone was waiting on them.

“Well, Broon insisted.” Kelley replied with a huff. Her voice turns a little sweeter as she addresses their captain, “And you know I feel about Becky.”

Becky rolls her eyes affectionately at the young left back. Becky and Kelley had bonded instantly and been close since the freckled girl’s freshman year. They had this connection that was surprising to most because of their opposite personality traits. But, despite everything they clicked. They had this strong connection that made them work seamlessly together on the field. They had a strong friendship off the field as well, Kelley being one of the only people who brings out the wild side of Becky, and Becky being the person who calms Kelley. If Becky wasn’t so obviously straight and in love with her boyfriend, you could mistake them for a couple. That’s how in tune they are with each other. They had shared two great years so far, and with this year being Becky’s senior year Kelley had vowed to make the most of it.

“Yes, I insisted we wait and I think we’ve waited long enough, so let’s begin,” the girls gave their captain a little whoop of encouragement as she turned to address the entire team. “First, I’d like to welcome everyone to the plex. For the freshman and new transfers, I hope this place begins to feel like a second home to you. I hope this team becomes a second family for you, and I hope we can accomplish great things on the pitch together.” She raises her glass, as the rest of the girls follow suit.

“To friendships, fun, and football!” Becky says emphatically, which causes the group to hoot and holler in support, glasses clinking and girls laughing, the perfect start to a team dinner and a season.

“Let’s eat!” Kelley exclaims as the toasting concluded.

The team all began to dig into Kelley’s feast, which included chicken and shrimp alfredo pasta, a caesar salad, steamed broccoli and garlic bread. Tobin dug into her plate, she always enjoys eating Kell’s food, and her alfredo was Tobin’s personal favorite. The other girls seemed to enjoy the food as well, the only time they were considered somewhat quiet is when they were eating.

These were the little moments that Tobin cherished the most about being apart of a team. Sure, she understood that she would have to give up the game of soccer at some point in the distant future, but would not have to give up the game entirely; just the player aspect. She would learn to love the game as a spectator, or even a coach. But the feeling of being apart of a team was something that she could never recreate. The long bus rides where they would binge bad movies, and sing at the top of their lungs to all of the classic tunes, the late nights spent talking and spilling your deepest secrets to each other in hotel rooms, the camaraderie you feel when you go into battle against the other team, just your girls verses the world; you can’t put that feeling into words.

Tobin takes a break from her food and decides to just observe her teammates. Becky was sitting at the head of the table, smiling fondly as she listened to Ali tell her about her lab partner from hell. Lindsey Horan and Emily Sonnett, two redshirt freshmen, were telling the incoming freshman about the time they almost flooded the training room after they left the hoses on while they were filling up the water coolers. Tobin remembers that day, they spent hours after practice mopping up the water that had accumulated on the training room floor. Linds and Sonnett were in the doghouse for weeks, but she had to admit that it made for a pretty entertaining story. Ashlyn and Alyssa, the two goalkeepers on the squad, were discussing this year’s fall retreat since they were the lead coordinators of the trip. Tobin could barely make her way through half of the team, until her eyes get distracted.

It was Alex this time, who had half of the team enthralled by another anecdote about some of the shenanigans the team got into last year. Tobin couldn’t quite focus on Alex’s words, as all of her senses suddenly zeroed in on Christen. She was listening to Alex’s story as well, alternating between eating bites of food and whispering her own commentary to Julie. She was captivating; and Tobin noticed every little detail about her. The way her smooth jaw flexed with every bite she took, her slender fingers twirling her fork around the pasta on her plate as tried to gather the perfect bite. Tobin had to force herself to look away as she brought said perfect bite to her lips, because she was not going to let her thoughts get away from her in this setting. Alex must have gotten to the punchline of her story, because half of the table had erupted in laughter. Christen’s head was thrown back, eyes shut, mouth open as she laughed heartily. Her hand came up to wipe the tears that had started to leak from her eyes, as she started to lean heavily on Julie to try and control her fit of giggles. Tobin can’t contain the smile that breaks out on her face. At this very moment, she could not think of anything in the world more beautiful than Christen Press.

The team settles down after Alex’s story, some returning to the remains of their food and some clearing their plates, doing their part in the cleaning up process. Tobin looks down at her plate, now realizing that she too, had finished her food. She got up from her spot at the table, and made her way into the kitchen. She placed her plate into the sink along with her utensils, thanking her lucky stars that she was not on clean-up duty this week. The seniors usually took it upon themselves to do the dishes and the bulk of the cleaning during the first team dinner. And after that, each class took turns divvying up the responsibilities. Tobin retreats back to her spot on the couch, her fully belly causing her eyes to feel a little heavier than usual. She decides to rest her eyes while she waits for the rest of the team to finish eating. Tobin closes her eyes, and rests her head on the back of the couch. It doesn’t take Tobin long to relax her entire body, she’s in a state that can only be described as pre-sleep when she feels the couch dip next to her.

“You can’t be sleeping already,” she hears Christen’s voice sing-song in her ear. “I feel like I just woke you up.” She giggles as she presses a little closer into Tobin’s side.

“Mhmm, I might be in a little food coma.” Tobin admits as she pulls her arm from where it’s wedged between her and Christen. She rests her arm on the back of the couch, and she can’t contain the easy smile that appears on her face as she feels Christen slide right up under her arm.

“Well, I might as well get cozy with you.” Christen sighs, as she makes herself comfortable under Tobin’s arm.

“Might as well.” Tobin agrees as she peaks one eye open to look down at the sight below her.

Christen’s eyes are closed, and her face is void of any kind of stress. She looks at peace, and a little bubble of pride wells up into Tobin knowing that she was able to bring this perpetual worry wart some sense of serenity. She drops her arm from the back of the couch for it to fall across Christen’s shoulders. Even though it was highly probable that one of their teammates could and would ruin this moment in the near future, it meant everything to Tobin that they could just be together in this sense.

But little did they know, that Alex Morgan was watching the pair from her place atop of the stairs. She was looking down at them, studying them intently, a little unsure about how she felt about whatever was going on between them. Her issue didn’t lie with them being teammates, she thought Ali and Ash were made for each other. And she could admit to enjoying Kelley’s company a couple times a month, with no strings attached of course. But this was far from no strings, this was an entire web made of rope and thread that connected the two. And sure, Alex liked Tobin. She was one of the coolest people on the team, genuinely a nice girl. But Christen was her family. Her and Julie had become two of the most important people in her life. Their chemistry on the field was obvious, each knowing the other’s tendencies to a level where it seemed like they could read each other’s minds. But their connection ran deeper than soccer, it was the things they went through off the field that made their bond as strong as it is now.

They were each other’s source of strength, whatever obstacle or hardship that they had to endure, they would go through it together. Last year during preseason, Alex’s sisters facetimed her and dropped heartbreaking news of their parent’s divorce. Alex was devastated, the whole thing coming as a complete shock to her. Christen and Julie were there to pick her up, dust her off and help her get back on her feet. They spent the entire weekend together, with ice cream and movies while they showered her with their full attention. They let her cry, and reminisce, and just mourn her parent’s marriage. And when Christen’s grandmother had suffered a stroke over winter break, Alex was at the hospital in minutes. She had left her father’s office Christmas party and went straight to the hospital, ugly sweater and all. Even though Julie’s drive from Arizona was a little longer, she had made it there in record time. They stayed with their friend until her grandma was stable and well on her way to recovery.

And unbeknownst to the rest of the team, their trip to Arizona this passed summer was more than just a casual visit. Christen and Alex had planned on flying to Arizona a week before they were to report back to school for training, and then the trio would road trip back in Julie’s car. But their trip was bumped up when three weeks after school was let out, Julie called them, hysterical and clearly not okay. Apparently, her and Zach had a fight, a really bad one. And it seemed like they were done for good. Alex and Christen were on the red eye flight to Phoenix within hours. When they arrived Julie had not even looked like herself, blond hair dirty and tangled, eyes swollen with grief and her face showing no trace of a smile. They scooped her up in their arms and tried their hardest over the next week to take her mind off of her heartbreak. And when Zach had showed up at the end of their week together, with flowers and mumbled apologies, you can bet your ass that Christen and Alex were apprehensive about any potential reconciliation. They knew that Julie loved him, and deep down they knew that he loved her, too. But seeing Julie, who was almost permanently happy be riddled with that level of despair actually broke their hearts in half. And they did not want to see their friend in that much pain ever again.

The same applied to whatever was going on with Christen and Tobin. Alex could tell that the lanky junior cared for her friend. She knew that Tobin was not the type of person who would just play with Christen’s emotions carelessly. And, yeah, she trusted Tobin as a teammate, but she wasn’t sure if she trusted her with her best friend’s heart. She had learned from her time with Kelley about Tobin’s escapades after her injury. She knew that Tobin was in a bad mindset after she got hurt, but it still terrified her that Christen’s heart could be at risk. She was gonna give it some time and not do anything drastic quite yet. She was going to talk to Julie, make sure they were on the same page with all of this. They would make some observations, ask around a little bit, and try to pry some information out of Christen. But for now, Tobin Heath was on her radar. And she was always watching.


	2. II.

II.

The first workout of the summer was always something Tobin looked forward to, contrary to almost every single one of her other teammates. She just loved football, and was eager to do anything and everything to help improve her performance on the field. This year, her desire to succeed was at an all time high. She felt like she had something to prove, some unfinished business to take care of, and she would do everything she could to accomplish those goals. Even though she was excited for the workout to begin, Tobin understood why her teammates didn’t particularly enjoy the first few weeks of summer workouts. They were dragged through hell for about month, and while in the back of their minds, they all knew that it was a necessary evil, but it didn’t mean that these days didn’t hurt like hell. 

The day began at the track at 6AM, getting the worst part of the day over with first. They ran sprints, a timed mile, and other varying exercises that could be considered as mild forms of torture. After their time on the track, they would break for a couple of hours and meet after lunch time for a weight lifting session. Their strength coach would drag them through another level of hell with his workout plan. They were grateful that they only lifted three times a week, because his level of intensity could legitimately be seen as insanity. After weights, they would have another break before meeting on the field for a late afternoon skills session. 

They wouldn’t move on to team scrimmages for another couple of weeks, but Tobin was just happy to have the ball at her feet for the first time in what seemed like forever. Coach put them through drills that weren’t too complicated, to just knock off some of the rust that may be lingering from the break. The returning players did their part in helping get the new girls up to speed, starting to form that bond that would be necessary if they wanted to make a deep run into the postseason. 

When the final whistle blew, all the girls made their way to the center circle to do their cool down stretches. Tobin pulled her shirt up from the bottom to wipe the sweat that had been dripping down her face. The workout might not have been super technical, but the mid-June Southern California dry heat had them all soaking in sweat. She made her way over to join her teammates, where she saw Kelley attacking her teammates with two gatorade squeeze bottles full of ice water. 

While this attack would be considered annoying by the rest of the girls on any other day, the excitement of the first day was still lingering amongst them. The smothering heat made the water feel like a relief, which spurred the attack on further. Lindsey and Emily decided to join in on the fun, and added two more squeeze bottles into the fury. Tobin smiled as she made her way into the fray, seeking the relief of the cold water as well as well as an opportunity to join in on the fun. She set her sights on the water table looking to arm herself with a bottle of her own. She quickly noticed that her teammates had all had the same idea. She made her way to the table, there was one squeeze bottle left and Tobin lunged for it. But, before she could claim the last bottle for herself, she saw a tan hand reach out and snatch it up. Brown eyes met greenish-grey, and Tobin looked up to see the squeeze bottle aimed right at her face, Christen’s eyes alight with amusement. 

“Any last words, Heath?” Christen asks, eyebrow arched, bottle cocked and ready. 

“You wouldn’t.” Tobin challenged. 

“Is that right?” Christen laughs, as she proceeds to empty out the entire contents of the bottle onto Tobin’s face. 

Tobin sputters as the water drips down her face. She was expecting a little more banter before Christen would put the water in play. Tobin wipes the water from her eyes, only to see Christen doubled over in laughter, clearly amused by the situation. Seeing how much Christen is enjoying herself almost makes her abandon any thoughts of retaliation. 

Almost. 

Her competitive nature overrides any feeling of fondness she may have had. She springs forward and lunges for the bottle, her mind set on getting revenge. Christen’s quick reflexes allow her to move the bottle out of Tobin’s reach rather easily. 

Christen laughs at Tobin’s attempt, “You’ve gotta be quicker than that.” She teases as she dangles the bottle in front Tobin before she turns and takes off in the opposite direction. Tobin, who had already anticipated Christen’s escape plan, took off after her. She was only a couple of paces behind her, and while she knew that while Christen was faster, she was confident in the higher level of endurance she had built up. They ran in circles, zig-zagged around benches and their various teammates. After a few minutes of this game of cat and mouse, Tobin noticed that Christen had started to slow down. The young forward tried her hardest to pick up her pace again, but it was too much for her preseason lungs. With one last burst of speed, Tobin finally caught up to her. She wrapped her lanky arms around Christen’s waist, to finally pull her to a stop. 

“Got you,” Tobin whispered. Her heart was going crazy inside her chest, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the chase, or the girl in her arms. 

“Yeah, you do.” Christen replied softly, their battle long forgotten. 

Christen dropped the water bottle on the floor, and her fingers came up to rest on Tobin’s arm a silent request to keep her where she was. They both slowly evened out their breaths, chests rising a falling in complete synchrony. After the excitement and chaos of the first day of workouts, this little moment of peace was everything. 

But, apparently, the universe did not give a shit about their little moment. And just as soon as it began, their little bubble was burst. They were hit with the force of the entire calvary, as all of the participants of the water war decided to use all of their ammunition on the two. After the barrage was over, Tobin and Christen were completely drenched and their teammates were loving it. 

Sonnett and Horan were literally pointing and laughing, their joy doubled seeing as they were not the punchline of the joke this time around. Julie was laughing along with the rest of the team, but way less obnoxiously. Kelley was the leader of the fiasco, and was elated that she was able to rally the team together to embarrass Tobin so early in the year. Alex stood in the fray, but she refrained from laughing. The situation between the two having increasingly gained her interest. She watched as Tobin went to tackle Kelley, the freckled girl being made defenseless because of her laugh attack. Christen made her way over to Julie, where she began twisting one of the many rings on her fingers, one of the tell tale signs that she was uncomfortable. Alex knew her friend was embarrassed about the team bearing witness to such an intimate moment, but there was another emotion layered with her embarrassment. It was almost like she was  _ angry _ that the team interrupted. 

It was fascinating for Alex, seeing this new side of her best friend. Before Alex could get too deep in her thoughts, coach blew his whistle, finally restoring order to the group. He ordered all of them to report to the training room, to get ice baths and start the recovery process, because this preseason from hell was just beginning. Alex caught up to Julie and Christen and the three walked in stride across the field to the training room where the trainers were starting to fill the large tubs for their ice baths. Each tub could fit three people comfortably, each person sitting down and  being fully submerged to their chests in the cold water. 

Christen didn’t particularly love ice baths, but she is far enough along in her athletic career to know how much they benefit her body. Julie slides in first, the cold never really bothering her anyway; Christen plops in a little while after her, hesitant but complying. Alex is the last one in the tub, the only one who was fully against this particular recovery method. 

“Is this optional?” Alex questions, a last ditch attempt to stay out of the tub. 

“You know it’s not,” Julie commented, her body entirely submerged in the icy water. “You’d be used to it by now if you would just get in.” 

Alex rolled her eyes at her friend, the whole point was to try and stay  _ out  _ of the water. With one final huff, she tiptoed her way into the water right between Julie and Christen, shivering and shaking the whole way. Although she hated being in this death bucket of cold, she supposed she might as well make the most of her time in frozen hell. Alex sunk completely into the water, the sooner she was submerged, the sooner her body would become numb. 

“So,” Alex began, her voice slightly deeper due the chill that was currently penetrating her bones. She focused her gaze on Christen, “What’s going on between you and Tobin?”

Christen rolled her eyes, it was only a matter of time before she was going to have to tell her friends about her thing with Tobin. But the hard part was, she didn’t know what to tell them. Were they together? Well, no. They definitely were not in a relationship, but were they just friends? At first, Christen just wanted to be Tobin’s friend. There was something about her presence, on and off the field, that she was just drawn to. Although Christen wanted to get to know Tobin, they would only see each other at practice, or in a large group setting. And after Tobin had gone through her injury, the lanky midfielder had retreated so far into herself, that could not see Christen watching her from afar, worrying, just wishing that she would look at her back. 

And now, they were here. On the cusp of  _ something,  _ and she really didn’t want to mess it up. 

“We have this thing…” Christen trailed off, unable to put her thoughts into words. 

“Yeah, obviously.” Alex deadpanned, eager to get to the juicy details. “But, I need more. The last time I checked, you two were coffee runs and study sessions friends. And now you’re cuddling on the couch after dinner, and intimate prom poses at practice acquainted.” Alex finished, the tone in her voice conveying the slightest hint of hurt. “I just want you to fill in the gaps, is all.” 

Christen ran her cold, numb hands through her hair in frustration. This is exactly what she didn’t want. She never wanted to be so consumed in someone that Alex and Julie start to feel like background characters in her life. She feels bad for not telling them, but she just so caught up in the idea of Tobin, that it kind of slipped her mind. 

“I didn’t mean to leave you guys out,” Christen says sincerely, “I just don’t really know what’s going on between me and Tobin. We’re clearly not just friends, but it’s like neither of us want to be the one to make a move to become something more..” Christen sighs, “I don’t even know if she wants to be more than this.” 

After she utters the last sentence, she immediately feels the arms of her best friends wrap around her, the water sloshing and spilling from the tub as they all conjoin together.

Julie pulls her soppy hand from out of the water and brings it to Christen’s face, “She would be an idiot not to want more with you.” 

“Thanks, Jules.” 

Before Julie could respond, both girls were interrupted by the aggressive chatter of teeth between the two of them. Alex Morgan was practically vibrating, her long and athletic body was curled up into the smallest ball possible, trying to retain as much body heat possible. 

“Chris, I love the shit out of you. But, I’ve got to get out of this tub.” 

Julie and Christen laughed at their freezing counterpart, and moved to get out of the tub. They wrapped their towels around their waists and began to make their way towards the locker room. The rest of their team was still finishing up their baths, a couple of them using their exit as an example and following suit. As they made their way out of the training room, Christen caught sight of Tobin. She was still in her ice bath, crammed into a tub with Kelley, Sonnet, and Lindsey. Kelley and Sonnett were at opposite ends of the tub, currently engaged in part two of the water war from the field. Tobin and Lindsey were caught in the crossfire, innocent casualties in this battle. As Christen passes, Tobin looks up and catches her eye; that sparkle that she has grown so fond of ever present. Christen sends her back a soft smile, which Tobin returns immediately. Before the interaction could go any further, Tobin was hit with a stream of ice cold water. After a moment of initial shock, she immediately turned and retaliated with her own fury of water. Christen laughed, and turned her attention back to her friends as they continued their journey to the showers. When they had successfully made their way out of the crossfire, Alex decided to finally give her input on the situation. 

“You guys have to talk, Chris.” Alex began, the chill in her voice long gone. “You’re both grown-ass women, you shouldn’t have to be second-guessing yourself when it comes to her.” Alex says, her protective nature finally coming to the surface. 

“I just don’t want to rush it, Al.” Christen responds. She understands why Alex is apprehensive, but she just wants this so much. Wants  _ her _ so much. “I mean, it took her  _ six months _ to kiss me on the cheek.”

“Well, maybe you’ll just have to make the first move.” Alex replies flippantly as they make their way into the locker room. 

Julie wags her eyebrows at Christen at the suggestion, as they approach their lockers get their stuff so they can hit the showers. 

“What does that even mean?” Christen asks as she pulls her wet shirt over her head and throws it in the laundry heap. 

“If you want her,” Alex pauses as she closes her locker. “Then you have to go get her.” 

Julie places her hands on Christen’s shoulders and gives them a light squeeze as she moves around her towards the showers, a silent showing of support and solidarity. 

“Your destiny is in your hands, princess.” Alex teases as she whips her towel at Christen. She and Julie laugh as they grab the rest of their things and make their way to the showers. 

Christen lingers at her locker for a moment, Alex’s advice stuck in her head. 

The first move. 

Well, that was an idea. 

 

* * *

  
  


The first month of preseason workouts ends in a blur of ice baths, weights, and on-field skill sessions. It was a grueling, but it felt so good to be back together. Coach had made practice on Saturday a doozy, but it seemed like an appropriate ending to the month from hell. It was a full day of fitness baseline testing, starting at the track with sprints and the timed mile. From there, they headed to the weight room, where they maxed out on all of their power lifts and measured their core strength. 

They were released for a quick lunch/recovery session, only to return in the afternoon for the dreaded beep test. It was a necessary evil, an unavoidable staple of being a soccer player. Tobin wanted to show her teammates and her coaches that she was back and better than ever. Her injury was not going to define her career, and the beep test was the first step in getting back to her old self. Last summer, she had been one of the last ones standing but she only had one goal this year: outlast Kelley O’Hara. 

Kelley and Tobin had always been competitive, it was one of the foundations of their friendship. Both girls were insanely talented, but they each had their own individual strengths that sometimes did not match up with the other’s. Tobin’s skill on the ball, for instance, just eclipsed Kelley’s. It was so natural for Tobin to have the ball at her feet. It was like they were one, connected by some invisible string. 

But it didn’t compare to how Kelley absolutely demolished the beep test. 

It was an art, really, the way Kelley was able to conquer the beep test. She understood the psychological aspect of the test, and when the beeps drove the other girls mad, Kelley just adjusted her pace. She had outlasted everyone by almost 10 levels last year, a feat that no one had ever come close to doing. But Tobin had been preparing for this moment, for the day that she was able to dethrone the Queen of the beep test. 

They all lined up at the starting point, ready for the test to begin. Tobin looked to her left, seeing Kelley a few yards away. She gave her a quick nod, a gesture that expressed camaraderie but also signaled the start of a battle. Tobin was locked in, eyes focused on the first length in front of her. Nothing could deter her focus, not even the pretty girl three yards away who was trying to send her a soft smile. The coach’s shrill whistle blew, and the team was off. The first level of the beep test, was of course, the easiest. Every single girl on the team passed it without having to go beyond a jog. The test progressed, and with each level the time diminished ever so slightly. Each twenty meter length begin to feel like ascending into a deeper level of hell. Tobin felt as if that antagonizing voice over the loudspeaker counting out the levels was mocking her, reminding her that it didn’t matter how many levels she finished, she still wouldn’t beat Kelley. 

The goalkeepers conked out around level thirty-five, the forwards dwindled around forty, Christen and Alex making it passed fifty with the rest of the defenders and midfield. Becky called it quits at level fifty-five, leaving Tobin and Kelley as the last two women standing. Tobin looked over at Kelley to try and gauge her psyche. She looked normal, despite the heavy layer of perspiration that had taken residence upon her forehead. They both got through the next couple of levels without too much of an issue, the montomy of the whole test starting to take its toll. Tobin’s body was screaming in protest, with every step she took her muscles tightened and burned. She powered through the fifty-eighth level just before the buzzer went off. Her legs were trembling, her lungs were on fire, every breath feeling like a drop of water to a furnace. Tobin knew her body, and she knew that she was almost at the end of her road. The only thing that kept her from completely collapsing, was looking over at Kelley and seeing her in an almost identical state. Her skin was bright red, mouth wide open, trying to suck in as much air as she possibly could. She had to go one more, just one more level and she would have this win. She would prove to everyone that she was not her old self anymore. She was better. 

The signal sounded and Tobin and Kelley were off. Tobin shot out of the gates, her competitive nature giving her a burst of energy. Her energy lasts for about seven meters, before her legs start feeling heavy. Tobin tries to will her body to go just a little further, she was almost halfway done, a few paces more and she would conquer this mountain. As she goes to make the turn, she sees Kelley use a burst of speed to change directions and take off. This just knocks the wind from Tobin’s already deflated lungs, as her heavy legs become concrete and her sprint fades to a jog. Not even Christen’s melodious, “Go, Tobin!” could force her legs to go another step. Her pride forces her to finish strong, and jog through the finish line where she instantly collapses. 

She placed a hand over her eyes to block out the sun, she hears the rest of the team cheer on Kelley as embarks on the sixtieth level. Tobin was proud of herself on some level, she knew that she was strides ahead of where she was at this time last year. Not accomplishing her goal just sucked, and losing to Kelley was even worse. Kelley finished the sixty-second level before she dropped on the ground next to her. Tobin had to give it up to her friend, she was able to defeat this test in a way that no other teammate of hers has ever done. She was proud of her, and with what little energy she had left, she told her so. 

“Thanks, bud.” Kelley grunted as she attempted to sit up. She struggled a little bit until she finally hoisted herself upright. Tobin grabbed Kelley’s calf as she matched her friend’s position, using it as an anchor to pull her drained body into a sitting position. When she finally returned to the world of the living, she was met with a towel and a brand new squeeze bottle being handed to her. Tobin looked up to see the face of an actual angel, the same angel that passed over the towel and cold water before taking a seat right next to her. 

“Good job, T.” Christen compliments as she settles in next to her. “You did so good.” 

“Thanks Chris,” She says softly as she gave her a once over. She still had a light layer of sweat resting on her forehead, the hair from her braid was fritzing out due to the physical exertion she had just put her body through. She smelt like grass and sweat, a scent that Tobin found oddly intoxicating. Tobin leaned into her, Christen’s body supporting all of her weight as the exhaustion finally starts to set in. She feels Christen wrap an arm around her, pulling her in, coaxing her to relax into her. Eventually the entire team made it over to where Tobin and Kelley were sitting, offering congratulatory pats on the back and words of encouragement. Coach made it over to the circle of his exhausted players and started his end of practice speil. Tobin was listening, to a certain extent. She had been on teams long enough to recognize a ‘this hard work will benefit us in the long run’, speech. Tobin felt Christen’s hand move soothingly across her back, an act that could easily lull her to sleep. But before her body could fully relax, she felt her teammates clapping as they all rose to their feet to break the huddle. She felt Christen remove her arm and stand up, Tobin forced her eyes open, as she began to rise as well. Her muscles screamed in protest, as she used Christen’s hand to hoist herself up to her feet. 

Becky led the team with their customary break, and they all made their way towards the locker room. Kelley made her way over to Tobin and slung an arm over her shoulders, they leaned on each other for support as they made their way to the training room. 

“C’mon, Tobs. You and I have a date with the ice tubs.” Kelley states, as she leads them away from the rest of the team.

“Ugh,” Tobin groans. “Kell, all I really want right now is a nap.” She takes a moment to smell herself before she adds, “and maybe a shower.” 

Kelley wrinkles her nose as she inhales her and Tobin’s scent. “Definitely a shower, Tobs. But your muscles will thank me next week.” 

Tobin rolled her eyes, but knew her friend was right. Even though sitting in a frozen tub sounded like pure torture, she knew that it would relieve some of the soreness she was bound to feel tomorrow. 

“You know I’m right,” Kelley sing-songs as she opens the door for Tobin to walk through. Tobin didn’t answer as she made her way into the training room, passing their trainers Rodney and Kara. They hand the girls towels as they make their way into the tub room. Kelley starts to fill the tub with water, as Tobin goes to the ice machine. The two work in silence, this being one of many ice baths they’ve shared together. Once the tub is filled to their liking, both girls ease into the water, the ice providing instant relief to their tightening muscles. After about five minutes of silence, Kelley finally speaks up. 

“You were really gunning for me today, huh?” She asks, voice laced with genuine curiosity. 

“Yeah,” Tobin admitted honestly, “I think I just wanted everyone to really see that I wasn’t injured anymore. That I can still compete with the best of them.” 

“I think everyone knows that Tobs.” Kelley answers softly, “Well, everyone except you.” 

Tobin didn’t answer. She knew that she was putting a lot of pressure on her return, but it was something that she had to do. It was this innate force driving her forward, a longing to prove something. And sometimes, she wasn’t quite so sure of what exactly she was trying to prove, or who she was trying to prove it to. 

Kelley let her soak in her thoughts, as she added more ice from the bucket beside the tub. Tobin had never really thought about why she pushed herself the way she did, it was just all she had ever known. Before Tobin could overthink too much, the doors to the doors to the hydrotherapy room swing open and in walk a freshly showered Alex, Julie and Christen. All three of them had their wet hair tied up in a bun that sat on top of their heads. They were all decked out in identical outfits: black short shorts with their respective jersey number plastered on their left thigh, paired with the team issued tank top, powder blue with their school logo plastered across their chest. They had bags of ice saran wrapped around their knees, an attempt to alleviate some of the stress they had inflicted on their joints. 

Alex walked over to the tub the girls were sitting in, stuck her hand in and flicked water at Kelley’s face mischievously. Kelley sputtered when the water hit her face, but made no move to retaliate; understanding the playful nature of the action. 

“Hey, beep queen.” Alex greeted playfully as she made her way to Kelley’s side of the tub. Christen and Julie followed in her direction, both stopping on either side of Tobin. 

“Al,” Kelley greeted casually, waiting for Alex to reveal the actual reason behind her surprise visit. 

“So,” Alex began as she trailed her hand over Kelley’s exposed shoulder. “Any plans tonight?”

“Mhmmm,” Kelley hums as she quickly sits up a little straighter in the ice tub. Tobin hisses as the movement causes the cold water to hit her unsubmerged skin. “So what kind of fun are you looking for, eh, Morgan?” Kelley asks suggestively. 

Alex rolls her eyes at the innuendo, cheeks tinting the ever so slight tinge of red. While those were not her direct intentions, if the night ended that way, she wouldn’t mind. 

“Something fun, nothing too crazy. But I think we all need to blow off some steam.” Alex answers as she studies her nail beds, her cuticles suddenly becoming incredibly interesting.

“Kick-back at the Plex?” Kelley suggests as she rises out of the tub, taking the towel offered to her by Julie.

“Yes, but let’s extend the invite to other teams.” Alex replies as walks in stride with Kelley. As the two exit the hydrotherapy room, the other girls can hear them debating about whether to invite the football team or not. 

Tobin lifts herself from the tub, and accepts Christen’s hand to help her over the edge. Julie hands her a towel as well, and she dries her lower body quickly before she wraps it around her waist. Christen looks her up and down quickly, taking in her appearance before she comments. 

“You sure you’re up for a kickback, T?” She asks softly, as they re-enter the actual training room. Tobin sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. Yes, it would be great to unwind and release some of the stress of the week. But, a lowkey movie night sounded much more appealing to her tired bones.

“I’ll be fine,” Tobin answers finally. “I think I just need a nap first.” 

“A nap,” Julie replies incredulously, “after the way you ran today, you deserve to hibernate!” 

This earns a chuckle out of both Christen and Tobin. It was subtle, but Julie’s comment just reaffirmed for Tobin that her hard work did not go unnoticed. 

“I’d miss you too much, if you hibernate.” Christen admits shyly, surprising even herself with such a comment. 

“Well guess I can’t do that then.” Tobin answers just as softly. Eyes catching Christen’s for just a moment. 

Julie surveys the two closely. Alex had mentioned that she saw something brewing between the two of them, but she had chalked that up to Alex’s tendency to be a little intrusive when it comes to her two best friends. But over the passed few weeks of preseason, she had noticed the little touches and moments that the two had shared. They weren’t overly affectionate, but theses instances seemed to last a little longer than just friends territory. Although Julie was sometimes forgetful and spacey, she paid attention when it comes to people she cared about. 

She was  _ definitely  _ going to have to talk to Alex now. 

* * *

 

Tobin walked out of her room and heard the sound of music blaring from Kelley’s speakers. The kick back was in full effect by now, Alex winning the argument of inviting the football team. The boys had been warned that this function would be lowkey, and the first one to get too rowdy would be suspended from all events held at the plex for the rest of the year. The team wasn’t too strict on alcohol, but it was an unspoken rule to cut back on the drinking during season. 

Tobin was dressed casually, her ripped black skinny jeans were a staple in her unathletic wardrobe. She chose to pair them with a simple white v-neck and her favorite pair of Jordan’s. She had come home after her ice bath and just passed out. She woke up three hours later feeling a little groggy, but way less achey.  Kelley had came home after their ice bath and immediately went into planner mode, coordinating all of the details for their last minute get together. Tobin had offered to help, but Kelley had politely declined. Since Kelley didn’t need her help, Tobin had decided to put on a light layer of makeup which was something that she rarely did. She had texted Christen, asking her to let her know when she arrived at the house. Tobin laid on her bed, playing on her phone, wasting time waiting for Christen’s text. About fifteen minutes after she layed down, she finally got the text from Christen signaling her arrival. 

So here she was, jogging down the stairs to meet Christen at the door. As she reached the bottom of the steps, Christen and the rest of her pack walked through the door. They were all greeted by the various people already inside of the house. Zach’s football friends came and hugged each of the girls, one of the burley ones hanging on a little too long for Tobin’s liking. The trio made their way through the throng of people and into the kitchen, likely to find drinks. Before they completely left the living room, Christen’s eyes found Tobin’s. A smile breaks out onto her face, as she turns to say something to Julie and Alex before making her way to the bottom of the stairs. Tobin welcomes her with a hug, one that ends a little too quickly for her liking. Christen takes a step back and gives Tobin a not-so-discreet once over, until she finally comes back to her face. Christen’s eyes go alight in amusement as she notices the subtle touches of makeup on Tobin’s face. 

“You look nice,” Christen compliments as she inches closer to Tobin again. She wraps her arm around Tobin waist lightly, and whispers into her ear. “I like it.” 

Tobin’s face instantly burns at the compliment, their closeness allows her nostrils to fill with Christen’s fruity perfume along with the slight tinge of alcohol. The trio must have pregamed in their shared dorm room. 

“You got started without me?” Tobin asks as she turns to face the younger girl. Christen’s eyes widen in embarrassment, and she immediately places her hand over her lips. 

“It was only two shots,” Christen explained as she rifles in her purse searching for a stick of gum. “Alex said it would help with my confidence.” 

 

“Oh, I’m not complaining.” Tobin assures as she loops her arm through Christen’s. “That just means I have to catch up.” 

The younger, now slightly buzzed, forward beamsat her as she unhooks their arms in favor of sliding her hand into Tobin’s as she leads the way to the drink table. 

* * *

The rest of the night goes by almost effortlessly, with Tobin and Christen rarely leaving each other’s sides. After Tobin had taken the two initial shots to catch up to Christen, they had made each other a mixed drink and began to mingle with the rest of the party goers. They caught up with Julie and Zach, and even played a round of beer pong against them. One round became two, and then before they knew it they had been entered into a full on tournament. They made it into the semi finals before a couple of boys from the men’s soccer team eliminated them. After the tournament, Tobin had decided that she was done for the night. Christen had readily agreed, and the two decided to share a gatorade by the bonfire. They sat on the same lawnchair, with a blanket Tobin had snagged from the back of the couch draped over both of their legs. Tobin was laying down a little lower on the chair, Christen sitting up a little higher with her head resting in her palm. She was staring down at Tobin, with this soft look on her face listening intently to one of Tobin’s stories about an adventure she had over summer. Tobin was playing with the fingers of Christen’s other hand as she continued telling her story. The two were lost in their own world, completely content to stay on that lawn chair forever. 

Julie watched from across the lawn. She had been sipping throughout the night, but she was not even close to being buzzed. She had been observing the two of them all night, watching the way they interact with each other. She feels a little like Alex, with her prying eyes and protective nature driving her to learn more about the situation. Just as she was getting lost in her thoughts, she feels a hand slide around her shoulder. Alex had taken residence next to her, her gaze locked on the same sight as hers. 

“You were right, Al. There’s definitely something there.” 

“Of course I was, but I still can’t put my finger on exactly what is happening.” Alex replied, as she leaned more of her weight on her best friend. She had consumed slightly more alcohol than her friends, but she had always been able to hold her liquor a little more eloquently. 

“I think Chris really likes her,” Julie replies her voice going soft with emotion. 

“That’s the problem,” Alex begins as she lays her head on Julie’s shoulder. “Chris has her heart on her sleeve, all vulnerable and exposed, but we don’t even know what Tobin’s intentions are.” 

The thought of Tobin breaking Christen’s heart was something that Julie could not bear. She now understood why Christen and Alex were so uneasy about Zach after the trip to Arizona. She would rather take one thousand cleats to the shin, than watch Christen get her heart broken. 

She just hoped it wouldn’t come to that. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me! I already have the next one outlined, so I hope it won't take an eternity next time. come talk to me on my tumblr thesewordsmy-heart or my new twitter @janeygirl2023 
> 
> until next time


	3. III.

“Al, wake up.”

Alex felt someone nudge her shoulder, but it wasn’t even close to being enough force to rouse her from her sleep. She sunk deeper into her bed, hoping whoever was trying to force her out of this bed would take the hint and go away. It was 9AM on a Sunday, a holy day of rest. And unless it was god herself forcing Alex out of bed, she was not getting up for at least four more hours.

“Alex.”

The same voice called out, this time a little more frustrated. Alex was conscious enough to recognize Christen’s voice trying to wake her up, but she couldn’t for the life of her think of any good reason to move.

“Whaat?” She moaned as she rolled over to face the imposter. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes to see a fully dressed Christen, along with an equally dressed Julie lingering in the background. They were both dressed casually, meaning that they were definitely trying to drag her somewhere. Any other day she would be happy to hang out with her best friends, but with her nagging hangover coupled with her tired muscles, her body was screaming for some much needed rest.

“Get up, we’re going out.” Christen ordered as she tried to yank the blanket from Alex’s body. Alex, having anticipated the move, proceeded to wrap the blanket tighter around her body. She curled further into the fabric, sticking her tongue out at Christen triumphantly.

Christen rolled her eyes in annoyance, she should have seen that one coming.

“C’mon Al, get up.” She begs again as she takes a seat on her friend’s bed. “Zach got us a table at that new brunch place we saw last week.”

“Great. You two enjoy yourselves. Bring me back an avocado toast, will ya?” Alex replied as she shut her eyes, hoping her friends would get the hint.

“Well, you see,” Christen began as inched closer and closer to Alex. “There was a reason why got the table so quickly, and on Sunday morning nonetheless.”

Alex sat up. Christen was being coy. And Christen was never shy around her and Julie. She raised her eyebrow, urging Christen to continue her story.

“So, you know Zach’s a popular guy. He plays football, he’s pretty, and he’s kind of charismatic. You know, he has a lot of friends.” Christen begins, clearly trying to string the right words together.

“Just spit it out, Chris.” Alex demands. Before Christen could give her an eloquent explanation Julie interrupts:

“Zach’s friend has a huge crush on you and we promised to introduce you two at brunch today.” Julie blurts out in one long breath.

Christen and Julie both look at Alex sheepishly trying to gauge her reaction. This confession wipes any lingering tiredness from her bones, and Alex slowly rises to her feet.

“So that’s what I am to you guys? Just a pretty piece of meat that gets you guys into the nice restaurants in town. What’s next? Do I have to rub elbows with the lunch lady from the cafe, so you guys can be first in line at the omelette station?” Alex replies, playful sarcasm dripping from every word. “I mean, if you’re gonna use me at least aim higher. Brunch? I’m capable of five stars, baby.”

A smile breaks out on both Christen and Julie’s faces, happy that their friend is being a good sport about this.

“But for my trouble,” Alex begins as she walks over to her closet to start getting dressed. “You’re paying for my food.”

“Done.” Christen agrees as Julie nods in affirmation.

Christen and Julie both take a seat on Alex’s bed, knowing their friend likes to take her time getting ready. They pushed themselves back on the bed, so their backs were resting against the wall, feet dangling off the edge. Julie scrolled on her phone aimlessly, while Christen decided to check in on Tobin. It was almost nine thirty, so she was probably still asleep, but Christen decided to send the message anyway.

_Chris: you awake?_

Christen closed the message, and opened up Instagram; content to scroll until Alex had deemed herself presentable. She was liking a picture that Ali had posted from last night when a notification banner appeared on the top of her screen.

Tobs: Yea, I’ve been up for like 10 minutes. U forgot to text me last night. :/

Tobin had made Christen to promise to text her when they made it home last night. And she had intended to keep her promise, until Alex bribed their Lyft driver to go through the In-N-Out drive through so they could order milkshakes. And after they made it home, Julie had claimed that she was starving so the girls made a spread of frozen chicken nuggets and tater tots. By the time Christen had laid in bed, it was almost three in the morning and her eyelids could not stay open long enough to type out a text. Even though she had a valid excuse, Christen felt guilty.

_Chris: i'm sorry. :/ i didn’t mean to make you worry._

Christen saw the little typing bubbles pop up on her screen almost instantly, so she waited for her response.

_Tobs: It’s okay. I knew u were home safe bc of Al’s snapchat stories lol I’m just sad that I didn’t get to tell u goodnight._

Christen’s breath caught in throat a little at the sweet declaration. When Tobin says things like that, her mind would begin to fill with all the thoughts of how good this thing could be. And her heart would squeeze a little bit in the best way. Her insecurities would float away, and for the moment, however fleeting, Christen’s mind and heart would be infused with only Tobin. And maybe, hopefully, she wasn’t the only one who had caught feelings.

_Chris: i'll make it up to you. we can facetime tonight?_

Tobin’s reply was instant:

_Tobs: I would love that._

A small, grin broke out on Christen’s face as she tucked her phone into her small purse. Tobin was weaving herself throughout every tiny hole and crevice inside her, patches of space that Christen didn’t even know need to be filled. Christen wiggled a little closer to Julie, who was watching a makeup tutorial on YouTube. She sighed contentedly, as she moved to rest her head on Julie’s shoulder. Julie smiled sweetly at her, as she moved the screen a little closer into Christen’s view. They finished that tutorial, and were halfway through another one when Alex finally appeared before them dressed and ready to go. She was dressed similarly to them, with a touch more makeup and a simple braid in her hair. Alex was effortlessly gorgeous, and she knew it too.

“Well girls,” She begins as she wraps an arm around each of her best friend’s shoulders. “Let’s get our brunch on.”

* * *

 

Tobin laid her phone on her chest after she sent that last text to Christen. Christen just makes her feel light; like some of the weight she carries around evaporates for a little while. It’s a nice feeling, one that she’s not quite used to. She had told Christen a little white lie while they were texting; she had not been awake when she received Christen’s text. The text tone had chimed in her ear, and startled her awake. Tobin tried to drift back to sleep, but before she could the aroma of food floated into her nostrils. Tobin’s stomach rumbled in response to the smell, and she knew that she would not be able to go back to sleep until she filled her belly. Tobin rolled out of bed, slipped on her Nike slides and made her way into the kitchen knowing exactly who she would find.

Kelley was the one person who would be able to wake up after a night out and put together a fabulous meal. When Tobin reached the kitchen, she saw Kelley at the stove with a messy bun on top of her head, in some soccer shorts and a cut shirt. She had the speaker plugged in at a low volume and was listening to what Tobin recognized as her “chill” playlist. She looked up as Tobin entered the room and gave her a surprised look.

“Toby! I’m actually surprised you're up before noon.” Kelley commented as she continued to crack eggs into a bowl. “Food won’t be ready for a little while.”

Tobin walked over to where Kelley was standing; she had about five things going at once and Tobin knew she would be able to pull it off, but she offered her help anyway.

Kelley laughed as turned to look at Tobin, “You? In the kitchen? Are you sure you’re not sleep walking?”

Tobin rolled her eyes playfully, sure, she wasn’t the most prolific chef on the team. But she could be an adequate sous chef, if given the right guidance.

“Just tell me what to do, Kell.” Tobin replied as she went to wash her hands at the kitchen sink. Kelley gave her one last once over before commanding Tobin to begin to cook the eggs while she got started on the pancakes. Kelley had already cracked and seasoned the eggs, so all Tobin had to whisk and make sure they didn’t burn. Kelley took the left burner for the pancakes, and Tobin took the right. Each girl began to work silently at their tasks, effortlessly moving around each other in the small space. The silence was peaceful, and it was one thing that Tobin loved most about her and Kelley’s friendship. They were close enough that they didn’t need to fill their silent spells with unnecessary small talk. They were just able to enjoy each other’s company, something that was hard to have with other people. Kelley passed Tobin a plate to place the eggs in, while she continued to flip the pancakes. When Tobin finished the eggs, she was instructed to wash and cut the fruit needed for the pancake toppings. Her work station was the countertop next to Kelley, and when she was halfway done with the strawberries, Kelley decided to break the silence.

“So,” she began as she ladled more batter into the skillet, “you and Press looked cozy last night.”

Tobin stopped cutting the fruit as she processed her friend’s words. Yeah, she was with Christen for pretty much the entire night. And sure, when their buzz started to kick in they were a slight bit more touchy feely than usual. But Tobin didn’t think it was that obvious. She thought people would chalk it up to two friends being drunk and affectionate. But apparently she was wrong.

“Yeah?” Tobin answered nonchalantly. She was proceeding with caution as she continued to cut the strawberries. “I like Press. She’s sweet.”

“Mhm.” Kelley answered. “It looked like she was sweet on you.”

Tobin’s heart did a flutter in her chest; she was sweet on her too.

Before Tobin could answer Kelley continued, “I ran into Jules and Alex standing across from the fire pit whispering about the two of you. They are watching you, my dude.”

“What do you mean?” Tobin asked genuinely confused, she liked Alex and Julie; they were friends. They had no reason to be on guard about her in regards to Christen.

“Those three, they're protective of each other.” Kelley replied as she plated the last pancake and brought the mound of them to the table. “They’re like a wolf pack, when they think that one of their own is in danger, they’ll fight to the death to defend them.”

“Danger?” Tobin asked as she started to bring over the bacon and sausage that Kelley had previously prepared. “How could I possibly be a threat to Christen?”

“That’s what I asked them, dude.” Kelley replied. Before she continued the conversation she ran to the bottom of the stairs and bellowed loud enough for the whole house to hear, “Breakfast is ready, ya lumps!” Before calmly coming back into the kitchen and finishing, “And then Alex went all Alex Morgan on me.”

Tobin raised her eyebrow curiously as she looked to her friend for an explanation. She was friends with Alex, but not nearly close enough to know what that statement meant. Tobin grabbed a plate and started to serve herself as she waited for Kelley to explain herself.

But Kelley didn’t answer immediately. She simply handed her full plate to Tobin before turning and grabbing the two mugs of coffee that Tobin didn’t see her make. She stuffed the cutlery and and napkins into her back pocket before making her way to the backyard. She placed her cup in front of her seat on the bench before she handed Tobin her own mug. Tobin slid Kelley’s plate over to her before getting settled across from her. Kelley took a bite of her food and chewed slowly before looking up at Tobin. She swallowed, and took a sip of coffee before she finally answered.

“Alex used some of our pillow talk against me,” Kelley began. “Last year, when you were going through all of your injury stuff and Alex and I were in the middle of one of our several flings, the topic of how you were coping might have come up.”

Tobin drew a long breath before she brought her hand up to rub her head at her temple. This explains everything. Alex and Julie had every reason to be a little wary of her true intentions. Even if Kelley had uttered one of the more milder versions of an escapade from Tobin’s past, it was enough to raise some concern. Tobin had tried so hard to try and block out the memory of the events of last year, it never really crossed her mind that other people might have their own opinions about what happened. Sure, the way she handled her stress may have not been healthy, but it was the only way she could cope at the time. But that wasn’t the real her.

Right?

“So, what?” Tobin started as she continued to eat her food. “Do you think they got to Christen yet? Is it done?”

“That depends.” Kelley says as she lifted another bite of her breakfast to her lips.

“On what?” Tobin asks.

She knows Christen; she knows how much her friend’s opinions mean to her. Tobin understands that if Alex and Julie don’t approve of her, it would be an uphill battle throughout the duration of whatever this was. She didn’t want to come between Christen and her friends, or the togetherness of the team.

“Christen’s feelings for you.” Kelley says simply, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. “If she cares about you, for real no one will get in the way of that. Not even her friends.”

* * *

 

“Okay, this place is niiiice.”

Alex admits as they are lead through the packed restaurant to their table. The place itself wasn't too upscale, it had rustic cabin chic aesthetic, which was all the rage these days. But apparently, the food was to die for and the head chef had even been featured on the Food Network. The place was buzzing; glasses clinking and people’s laughter filled the air. Their pretty hostess finally brought them to their table, which was arguably one of the best seats in the entire restaurant. They were given the brunch menu, and were assured that their server would be with them shortly. The three girls picked up their menus and started discussing drink options.

“Coffee is a must,” Julie begins as she continues to skim through the menu, “but that raspberry mimosa looks interesting.”

Christen was in the middle of weighing the pro’s and con’s of drinking so early in the day, when their waiter finally came up to take their order. Christen had thought he looked familiar, but couldn’t quite place exactly where that familiarity stemmed from. He was good looking by all means: tall-ish, with an athletic build. He had short, dark hair and olive skin, and he was giving them a friendly, yet nervous grin.

“Hi, my name is Servando. And I’ll be your server today.” He stated politely. “What can I get started for you?”

“You look familiar,” Alex stated bluntly, expressing the thought that the others were obviously thinking. She blatantly looked him up and down as she studied him a little more closely.

He looked down at his feet shyly, before answering.

“I transferred here last year, I was in bio with you.” He answered as he pointed to Christen. “Public speaking with you,” he continued as he gestured towards Julie. “And I sat next to you in English last semester.” He finished, locking eyes with Alex. “I was also at the kick back last night, at your guys’ team house. And I’m planning on walking onto the men’s soccer team this season.”

“So, how do you know Zach?” Julie asks, now interested in how this familiar stranger knows her boyfriend.

“Me and Zach are both engineering majors, and we have the same faculty advisor.” Servando explains, “And when I found out his girlfriend was on the soccer team, I had to ask him.”

“For what?” Christen asks.

“Well,” He begins as he looks down at his shoes, clearly contemplating his next sentence. He shuffles around for a little while until he finally lifts his head to lock eyes with Alex. “For the chance to meet you.”

Well, that was smooth.

Before he could continue, someone calls his name from the kitchen area. Apparently, he had been visiting at their table for too long.

“I guess I’ve wasted enough of your time,” he admits sheepishly, a blush creeping up his neck. The girls could tell that this conversation was something that he was not used to. It took a lot of courage. “How about I start you all off with coffee and water?” The girls nodded at his suggestion. He smiled in response, “Okay, I’ll be back soon with your drinks.”

“Well that was interesting.” Christen deadpans as she brings her attention back to her menu.

“He was sweet,” Julie argues as she flips through her menu, “in an awkward, dorky, kind of way.”

“Definitely awkward.” Alex agrees as she picked up her menu and continue looking. “Gave me slight stalker vibes, though.”

“I mean, he looked familiar.” Christen replied as she set her menu down, deciding on the egg white omelette.

“It was kind of weird that he knew us all from somewhere,” Julie adds as she closes her menu as well. “like, he was at the Plex last night and none of us noticed.”

“Well, I was drunk. And Press had her face lodged in Tobin’s neck.” Alex replied slyly, knowing exactly which way she was about to steer the conversation. “What’s your excuse, Jules?”

Christen felt her neck heat up as she narrowed her eyes in Alex’s direction. She knew that Alex was trying to get her to open up, but this certainly wasn’t a very efficient method. Alex lifted her eyes up to meet Christen’s, her gaze was soft and non threatening but the arch of her eyebrow meant that she was serious about the topic at hand. Christen sighed as she started to pick at her napkin. She knew that her friends opinion of the possibility of her and Tobin had obviously changed, so she might as well hear it now. Christen dropped her napkin and threaded her fingers together as she gave her best friends her full attention.

“Well, are you gonna tell me what’s up?” She asked as least defensive as she could. She couldn’t help but be a little protective about what she felt for Tobin. No one had ever made her feel quite like this. “I didn't know you guys had a problem with Tobin.”

“It’s not that we have a problem with Tobin,” Julie answered quickly. “We actually like the girl. She’s a great teammate.”

Christen didn’t interject, waiting for Alex to answer her question.

“All we want is for you not to get hurt, that’s all.” Alex answered drolly, “We just want you to protect your heart.”

“And why do you think Tobin’s gonna hurt me? She’s been nothing but sweet to me.” Christen asks as she smiles and mutters a soft thanks to Servando who had just brought them their coffee and water. The girls paused their discussion of Christen’s fragile heart to order their food. Christen ordered an omelette, with a side of toast and a mimosa. She had a feeling that alcohol would be needed for her to get through this conversation. Julie’s order was predictable; french toast with a side of fruit, one slice of bacon and one sausage link. It was JJ’s go to breakfast meal. Julie also sensed the nature of this conversation and ordered the raspberry mimosa that had caught her eye earlier. Alex switched it up and ordered her drink first. She ordered a pomegranate mimosa, (heavy on the champagne) along with the avocado toast she was craving earlier. Once Servando retreated back to the kitchen with their orders, did the conversation resume.

“Kelley’s told me some things,” Alex admits as she goes to take a sip of water. “Things that just made me a little concerned. And I didn't say anything, because I didn’t want you to think that I was just being my same, irrational, over protective self. But its been over a month since we’ve been back and you guys are still in the same place.”

“We know you like her,” Julie cuts in, looking at Christen with those adorable doe eyes, “last night was proof enough.”

Christen could feel her cheeks burn again. She thought about last night, curled up under Tobin’s arm, and she felt this warmth fill up her belly. Everything about last night was warm; from the massive bonfire that casted a soft glow upon Tobin’s flushed cheeks, to the way her body felt completely at home being pressed up against Tobin’s body for the duration of the night. She remembers her soft smile, and even softer eyes and how they talked about nothing and everything until the flames had dwindled into embers and the only thing keeping her warm was Tobin’s body heat. Christen remembers winding her arms around Tobin’s shoulders as they said goodnight, the smell of Tobin’s earthy shampoo filling her nostrils and making her head spin and heart surge against her ribs.

“I do,” Christen answers, voice a little hoarse with the sudden emotion. “I like her. But I still don’t understand the problem.”

Alex sighed. She didn't want to be the one who aired out all of Tobin’s dirty laundry; it wasn’t her story to tell. But she needed to try and protect Christen in any way she could. Even if her friend decided to continue to pursue whatever this was with Tobin, at least Alex would have peace of mind knowing she was aware of what could happen.

“Last year, when Tobin was dealing with her injury and everything,” Alex began, trying her best to recall all of the details that Kelley had whispered to her all those nights ago. “She was going through a rough time, and her rehab wasn’t progressing as fast as she wanted. We were on the outside to almost all of her struggles, but Kelley had a first hand look. And according to her, the only thing that brought Tobin any joy was drinking herself into the ground and leaving a trail of broken hearts behind her.

“I mean, I know we all deal with our shit in different ways,” Alex continued as she took a swing of her drink. “I just don’t want you to be another crutch on her way to healing.”

Christen took her time to process this. She knew that last year had been rough for Tobin. She had seen first hand the way Tobin retreated within herself after her injury. But they weren’t close then, so Christen had no idea how she was able to get through that dark time in her life, but she was so glad she did. Her gut told her that this wasn’t like all those times last year. She wasn’t just another girl.

But what if she was?

“Look Chris,” Alex begins as she takes her hand. “We just want you to happy. And after seeing Julie so sad last summer, my heart can’t handle seeing you broken too.” She grabs Julie’s hand before she continues. “You guys are the most important people in my life, I know its annoying, but I can’t help but be a little over protective.”

Christen feels the hot trail of a single tear fall down her cheek. She sometimes forgets how lucky she is to have two people in her corner that would do almost anything for her. The rush of affection she feels for her two best friends overwhelms her, as she feels another tear slide down her cheek. She looks up to see Julie freely crying, and Alex sending her the softest watery smile.

“Oh my god,” Julie wails as she grabs her napkin and wipes the tears from her eyes. “We’re really those girls right now.”

“I don’t care,” Alex admits as she blinks away the tears threatening to fall. “I needed this.”

Christen takes a sip of her water to will her emotions into control.

“I love both of you, with all of my heart. I really do. And I know that you guys don’t want to see me hurt, and trust me, preventing heartache is a goal of mine. But, this thing with Tobin is something I’m willing to risk getting hurt for. I’m willing to gamble on her, cause I think she could be one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. I can’t promise that I won’t get hurt, and I can’t guarantee that I won’t hurt her. But I have to try. I have to put my heart out there, and if it does end up getting broken I know that you two will be there to help me put it back together again.” Christen finishes with a breath, a relieving weight being lifted off of her chest. She finds the hands of her best friends again as she continues, “But I can promise you that I’m going to talk to her. I need to figure out what our next step is for my own sanity.”

The table is quiet for a few moments as all of the occupants digest what was just said. It was the first time in a long time that Christen had felt truly confident about what was coming next. She was going to talk to Tobin, and hopefully they were on their way to becoming something more, something great even.

“Cheers to that,” Alex commends as she lifts her glass in solidarity. Julie follows suit, with Christen to be the last to raise hers as all three glasses touch, each girl hopeful for whats to come.

* * *

 

Tobin flopped down on her bed with a huff. She felt like she had been waiting for this FaceTime call for days, with the last few hours seemingly standing still.

Her plan was to keep busy, otherwise she would waste her entire day waiting for the phone to ring. After her breakfast with Kelley, she did her laundry and cleaned her room. Once she finished tidying up, she went downstairs to convince Ali and Ashlyn to go workout with her. It took a lot of begging and a promise of Jamba and lunch afterwards to get the couple out of bed on a Sunday. They hopped in Ashlyn’s jeep and drove to the field where they went through a short, but intense workout. Ali and Tobin then took their turns shooting at Ashlyn. After about an hour the trio decided they had enough for the day, and headed downtown for a late lunch.

The settled at an outside table at the little deli on the corner. The food wasn’t the best in town, but the cutest little Italian couple owned the place and the prices were cheap, so it became a frequent lunch spot for a lot of the girls on the team. The girls made their way to the counter and placed their orders, and then eventually making their way to a table outside. They sipped on the smoothies that Tobin had generously paid for, as they waited for their food in comfortable silence. Ali and Ash were looking at a video on Ali’s phone, laughing together at whatever was being shown on the screen. Tobin picked up her own phone and opened Instagram. She scrolled through her feed absentmindedly, giving out likes rather generously. She refreshed her feed to see a new story from Julie appear. She couldn’t help but click it, knowing the odds that Christen was in said story were very high. Sure enough, Christen’s face along with Alex and Julie’s fills her screen. The girls have shopping bags in their hands, eyes alight, and with a matching sense of bliss filling their faces. Christen’s smile immediately catches her attention; her normal soft, tight lipped, almost reserved smile has transformed into a full out grin. There are a small wave of wrinkles by her eyes, due to the full extent of her smile. Her lips are parted fully, showing her true unabashed smile. Tobin can help but smile at the photo, the happiness of the group radiating from screen.

The thought of her conversation with Kelley creeps into her mind as she lingers on the picture. She didn’t need the picture to prove how close the three were, but it was just a reminder of what she was up against. Tobin didn’t know if Alex and Julie had already confronted their friend about their concerns, and she honestly couldn’t say for certain if this thing with Christen was over before it even began. A sudden wave of longing washed over her, and in that moment all she wanted in the world was to have Christen sitting across the table from her right now, so she could try and convince her that she was worth it.

Tobin’s thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of their food. Ali and Ashlyn’s attention immediately left the phone, as their food was placed in front of them. They all silently dug into their meals, their impending hunger becoming more apparent in the moment. Tobin took a bite of her sandwich and chewed slowly. It didn't occur to her until now that she had two of the best consultants about the ins and outs of inter-team relationships. She ate a couple more bites of her sandwich before she spoke up.

“Okay, so this might sound weird, but I have to talk to you guys about something.” Tobin began, as she started picking at her napkin.

Noticing her nerves, Ali took one last bite of her salad and then focused on Tobin completely.

“Yeah, sure, Tobs. What’s up?” She asked sincerely.

Ashlyn kept eating her panini, but she had her eyes locked with Tobin’s signaling her full attention.

Tobin took a couple of long drags of her water, before she finally spoke up. She had nothing to fear, or be embarrassed about, she loved and respected both Ashlyn and Ali. From the very first day she walked onto campus, both of them had been unofficial mentors to her. Ali, being a driving behind the scenes force that helped her come to terms and overcome the hurdles of her injury. Ashlyn had always been so easy to talk to, they enjoyed a lot of the same activities outside of the soccer field. Come to think of it, she should have come to the both of them sooner.

“So, I need some advice.” She begins slowly, trying to ask the heavy questions in the least daunting way. “You guys are like the strongest couple I know, and I think I want something like what you guys have. I’m just scared that I’ll mess it up, or that I already have.”

Ashlyn and Ali share a silent look before they both return their attention to the frazzled midfielder, they take a simultaneous deep breath before Ali takes the first crack at trying to unpack what Tobin just spewed out.

“So, you like someone.” She begins tentatively, albeit positively. “That’s really great, Tobs.”

“Yeah, dude.” Ashlyn chimes in as she unfolds her arms and lays a comforting hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about those dweebs on the team, the teasing will only last for a little while.”

“It’s not that,” Tobin begins as she mulls over her next sentence. She hadn’t initially planned on telling them that the girl she had a, for the lack of better words, crush on was Christen. But she figured that if all went well, the whole team would find out sooner or later that she was kissing their sophomore striker.

“I just wanna know how you guys do it? How do you guys balance being teammates and girlfriends? How did you know that being together was worth the risk of potentially exploding the whole team’s dynamic?”

Ashlyn and Ali look a little taken back; no one had ever asked them anything like this before. They wait a beat before speaking; Tobin wrings her hands in anticipation. Maybe she had crossed a line asking them such personal questions. Yes, they were teammates, and she considered Ash as one of her best friends on campus. But, they had always liked to keep their relationship private and Tobin wondered if she had just made things permanently awkward between them. She opened her mouth to dismiss her questions, until Ashlyn suddenly spoke up.

“Tobin, you know I love soccer. I love this game. I love everything about it. The feeling of getting the tips of my gloves on a perfectly struck, impossible curling ball, or saving a penalty that clinches the game for us can get me higher than any drug I’ve ever tried. This sport, this game, it saved my life. And there aren’t many things in the world I love more than my team and this game. But when I met Ali, and we connected so quickly, and so deeply, something inside me shifted. And one day I decided that she was what I wanted more than anything else in the world. Like, I would never touch a soccer ball again if that meant she would be happy.”

Ashlyn’s hand had somehow gravitated towards Ali’s while she was talking, and their fingers were now impossibly tangled together. Ali flashed her girlfriend this small, but watery smile before she turned to Tobin.

“We took it slow at first, cause we didn’t want the dynamic of the team to change. We set some ground rules for each other when we were with the group, and weeks and months passed without anything blowing up in our face. After about three months of officially dating we agreed that it was time to let everyone know that we were together. We had planned this big speech about how we were so dedicated to the team, and how we would never bring our relationship drama onto the field but the team didn’t even need to hear it. They supported us wholeheartedly, and it was one of my best memories on the team. They teased us for a couple of weeks, but it died down like everything does.

“Tobin, if it’s the team you’re worried about, I promise they’ll be fine. We’re all adults, the dynamic on the field probably won’t change much. And with the messing up part, don’t think about it too much; you’re bound to make mistakes you’re not perfect. But if she really cares about you, there won’t be anything that you can do that would make her stop.”

* * *

 

Christen flops down on her bed and sighs with relief. She was not expecting their impromptu brunch date to turn into a full day out on the town. After they finished their brunch, which was to die for, Alex had guilted them into a trip to the mall. She had promised that she only wanted to go to a couple of stores, that they would be on their way in no more than an hour. One hour turned to two, and the second hour melded into ‘let’s just get pedicures, we’re already here!’. And before she knew it, Christen had left the mall four hours later with two cute tops, some new Nike gear, along with a fresh clear coat on her toes.

After the mall, the trio had decided to make a quick trip to the grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner. After another twenty minutes of bickering about what they wanted to eat, they all finally agreed on grilled chicken and veggies and the rest of the trip to the grocery store went by fairly smoothly. When they got back to their communal apartment, Christen and Julie went about preparing the meal while Alex plopped herself on the counter, penance for them dragging her to brunch this morning. Christen and Julie worked around Alex seamlessly, who was ever so kind to pass them the seasonings from the cabinet she was perched in front of.

They ate in a comfortable silence, not needing to really update each other on anything having spent the whole day together. Some of their roommates passed through without much of a commotion, and while they don’t mind sharing a living space with random students, they longed for the day where they would get to finally move into the Plex. They made quick work of the dishes, before Zach swept Julie away for a little ice cream date. Alex opted to go on an evening run, concerned about the amount of alcohol she consumed this weekend. After both of her roommates had left the apartment, Christen made her way to their shared room looking to take advantage of this small window of privacy.

She opened her laptop, and slipped on her headphones as she clicked the name of the girl she couldn’t seem to get out of her head lately. Tobin answers on the third ring, she’s wearing a team hoodie and she’s propped against the pillows on her bed, with the string of Christmas lights twinkling in the background lighting her face.

She looks ethereal.

And she thinks she finally understands, she understands why Julie can’t go to sleep without hearing Zach tell her goodnight. She understands why her Dad would drive an hour out of the way to make sure they stop at her Mom’s favorite bakery when they go visit her aunt in the city. She gets why Ashlyn would stay almost completely still for the entire four hour bus ride, just so she wouldn’t disturb Ali who was dozing with her head on her shoulder. She understands everything, because she knows she would do all of this and more for Tobin if she wanted her to.

But instead of spilling her heart on the floor like a dopey school girl, she elects to go with a soft, “Hi.”

“Hey,” Tobin responds in kind her smile becoming impossibly wider before she continues to speak, “I feel like I’ve been waiting all day for this.”

Her honesty causes a blush to creep up Christen’s neck. Tobin had always been more coy when it came to talking about her actual feelings. Besides the small moments of vulnerability she’s managed to steal when they’re together, Tobin has never been so straightforward. It’s a small change that catches Christen by surprise, but excites her all the same.

“Yeah? Tell me about your day?”

Tobin launches into a recap of her day, making Christen laugh when she tries to convince her that she actually helped Kelley make breakfast this morning despite her reputation of being completely useless in the kitchen. She moves on to the rest of the day she spent with Ali and Ashlyn, she starts to bring up a conversation they had in the restaurant when Alex bursts through the door, head glistening with sweat as she returns from her run.

Christen pulls an ear bud out to greet her friend, “Hey Al, good run?”.

“Eh, I just did a mile and a half.” She answers nonchalantly. “I’ll be damned if I get a beer belly one month into preseason.” Her answer makes Christen laugh, and Alex finally looks over and notices that she’s talking to someone. Talking to Tobin, to be exact.

“Hi, Tobin.” Alex calls, not in her most friendly tone, but certainly not hostile. She goes to grab her stuff needed for a shower, and informs Christen was going to steal some of her nighttime face moisturizer as she leaves the room.

Christen pulls her headphones back on and focuses her attention back to Tobin. She assumes that she was going to pick up at the deli, when Tobin takes the conversation in a different direction.

“They really don’t like me, huh?” She asks in a somber voice, a sound that was uncharacteristic for Tobin’s naturally laid back aura.

“Alex and Julie?” Christen clarifies, unaware that Tobin knew of her best friend’s reservations towards her.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know. Kelley brought something up about how they’re just overly protective friends, but then she told me that they know about my, uh, coping from last year. And I’m just scared that they’ve got this bad image of me in their heads, and now they’re never gonna trust me.”

“T, they’re not like that.” Christen assures, “Whatever happens off the field won’t ever interfere with what we’re doing on the pitch.”

“Not with soccer.” Tobin clarifies, “They won’t trust me with you.”

For the second time that night, Christen is surprised by Tobin’s unabashed declaration of her intentions. She recovers a little faster this time, and she decides that its her turn to be brave.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Christen starts as she sits up a little straighter in bed, “They have some concerns. But we talked about it today at brunch, and I told them that even though everything between us was kind of up in the air that I wasn’t afraid to try. I’m not afraid to put myself out there.”

Laying her feelings out on the line feels oddly refreshing. And she has half a mind just to spill her heart out right now over the phone.

“And I don’t know all the details about everything that happened last year, but I know that you’re not the same person anymore. I know that whatever we have is important to me, and I really want to see if it could become something great.”

Christen wishes Al and Julie could see her now, telling Tobin what she wants and not waiting around for the other girl to make the first move. The confidence that flows through her veins is addictive, and she wonders if this is what it always feels like to be Alex Morgan or Kelley O’Hara.

“It’s important to me too,” Tobin answers, with the smile on her face returning. “I hope you know you’re not like one of those girls from last year. They were just a distraction. And even though I don’t like talking about that time in my life, I need you to know that you’re so different then anything I’ve ever experienced. Its hard to explain, but you’re in my head, like all of the time.”

“Yeah?” Christen answered, the blush taking residence on her face once again. “I want to do this, Tobin. If you want to, I want to see what this could be.”

“I don’t wanna mess this up, Chris.” Tobin admits vulnerability etched into every word she whispers. “I would hate myself if I ever hurt you.”

“You can’t think like that, T.” Christen coos, trying to stop Tobin’s negative train of thought. “Yeah, you could hurt me, and I could hurt you. Or we could make each other so incredibly happy. And I have a feeling, that we could be great together.”

This. This is the risk that Ali and Ashlyn were talking about. This reckless feeling that bubbled up inside her chest that just told her to go for it. Just dive right into this thing with Christen, and even if she ended up breaking her heart she thinks it will be worth it. She thinks that she would give up almost anything just to be able to call Christen hers, its a thought that scares her and excites her at the same time.

“I’m all in, Chris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those of you still following, i love you with all of my heart. 
> 
> come yell at me: 
> 
> tumblr: thesewordsmy-heart  
> twitter: janeygirl2023


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